Allies & Angels: A Memoir of Our Family's Transition - Hardcover

We're Terri and Vince Cook. We've written about a life changing experience. We hope by sharing our story we help change many other lives too.

It's been nearly 4 years since we learned the child we thought was our daughter is really our son. But it was years before that when a suicide attempt introduced us to a world of struggles, with innumerable sleepless nights, endless fears and lots of tears. Our child did not wake up one morning and profess he was a boy, not a girl. Rather, he endured depression, anxiety, bullying, and torment before he could put words to his inner struggle and understood his gender identity was the source of his pain.

We confided in few people at first, then slowly surrendered our insecurities to arm ourselves with knowledge. The decision to embrace, rather than reject, our path transformed our lives. We supported our teenage son's transition from female to male. Over the years, our family transitioned along with him.

Our son's struggle to understand, accept, and simply be who he is nearly cost him his life. He had a family that loved and supported him, and yet it has been a difficult journey. Many of the difficulties of being transgender (or having a trans loved one) are compounded by the lack of awareness and acceptance in society. For this reason, we're sharing our story ... with the hope of increasing awareness and bringing about change. We understand that most people (including us at one time) have no idea what it means to be transgender or the challenges faced by trans individuals.

This is a story of how a young, middle-class family discovered how much they didn't know. Our ignorance translated into fear, desperation, and pain. With a lot of help from others we learned the truth. We think everyone will benefit from the allies and angels in our life.

Maya Angelou said, "When you know better, you do better."

We hope our story helps people to know and do better--regarding transgender people and all other marginalized populations.