"Suffering is a natural part of life and we cannot eliminate it. What we can eliminate are the things we do to unnecessarily compound our own suffering, and the things we do to unnecessarily cause others to suffer. . . . When we offer our children our time, our affection, and our sense of optimism, we help them find a way through their own adversity, grief, and sorrow. They learn that they too can take an active part in determining what they will do with what life has handed them."-- From Parenting Through Crisis
In this companion to her bestselling kids are worth it! parenting educator Barbara Coloroso shows how parents can help children find a way through grief and sorrow during the difficult times of death, illness, divorce, and other upheavals that strike families or others we care about. She offers concrete, compassionate Ideas for supporting children as they navigate the emotional ups and downs that accompany loss, assisting them in developing their own constructive ways of responding to life's challenges.
At the heart of' her approach is what she calls the T.A.0. of Family--time, Affection, and Optimism--coupled with her deep understanding of how people move through grief. Barbara Coloroso's clear answers to difficult questions are illustrated through Uplifting humor and insightful anecdotes from her own experiences as a franciscan nun, mother of' three,, and her thirty years as a parenting educator and leader of workshops and seminars worldwide. With this guide in hand, parents can feel assured that they are parenting with both head and heart, responding with wisdom and love when children need them most.
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The chapters of this book are arranged by type of crisis--quite helpful if you're looking for information on dealing with adoption and don't feel up to reading how to handle the death of a sibling. Inside each chapter, you'll find specific stages that children of different ages may go through in processing their difficulties, along with helpful parenting techniques, ways of creating a positive dialogue with all family members, and the occasional suggestion for particular legal issues. Pages are sprinkled heavily with appropriate quotes from many sources, and many parents may find a bit of memorization helpful in keeping their tempers. One chapter contains advice from Henry Ford that seems equally appropriate for assembly line or family drama: "Do not find fault, find a remedy." Coloroso encourages open communication at every opportunity, and her expertise in nonviolent conflict resolution shows itself with her suggestions of effective discipline and problem solving that leave blame and punishment in the dust. New language choices are a part of her techniques, and words like "co-parenting" and "primary responsibility" are emphasized instead of old school phrases like "joint" or "sole" custody. Parents in difficult situations should find a few quiet hours to spend with this book--it's not one to be quickly absorbed, but one to be used with planning and patience. --Jill Lightner
Barbara Coloroso is the author of the international bestseller Kids Are Worth It! and Parenting Through Crisis and is an acclaimed speaker on parenting, teaching, conflict, resolution, and grieving. Featured in Time, the New York Times, and on many radio and television shows, she lives with her husband in Littleton, Colorado.
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